A Fallen Marine

Last week I attempted to share about all of my friends who are working or building a business that LIGHTS THEM UP. Just thinking about these people again makes me excited. In case you didn't read last week's blog, or have a memory NOT like a goldfish (apparently they have good memories according to a science podcast I listened to the other day), I was unsuccessful at writing about all of them. I know TOO many people living fully fueled. So this week I'll attempt to tell you about another friend. But the weight I feel as I begin to write this post feels massive. This story is both sadness and magic. Those feelings are conflicting. I think we are raised to believe one type of feeling can live at a time. Either you are feeling something of happiness or you are feeling something of sadness. Hell, I think we also believe people are only one thing: good or bad, kind or mean, friendly or jerks. I'm here to say, two conflicting feelings CAN and OFTEN do life simultaneously. And we are more than just one thing. So while this story breaks my heart, it also fills it with overflowing joy. So that is where this story is going. Bear with me as I try to do it justice.

This story actually starts in 2009, but before we can go back that far, we gotta stop in 2019.

Back in March of 2019, a dear friend of mine recommended I do something fun for my upcoming birthday. She had recently visited Structures Salon and had Kristen do her hair. We had plans to celebrate my birthday all weekend so why not get a blow-out and have someone actually do my hair. If you know me, you know my hair is 90% of the time in a bun. OK fine, let's be fun and flirty and do something different. So I called up the salon and made an appointment with this stylist, Kristen, who I didn't know, but knew my friend Shanna really liked her. And I trust a trusted friend.

So fast forward to the day of the appointment, and when I walked into the salon, I immediately knew, I KNEW Kristen. Kristen's brother, David, deployed with my husband to Afghanistan in 2009, and was devastatingly killed in action by a suicide bomber. Now if you are a family member of a service member, and have lived through a deployment, you know that you get to know the other families during that time because the military does a great job connecting everyone: spouses, siblings, girlfriend/boyfriends, parents.... everyone is welcomed. Typically we meet up once a month. So I had seen Kristen about four times at family events, leading up to the attack on our group's unit in January of 2010. Three amazing men lost their lives trying to make this world a better place. True heroes. Let's honor them for a minute.

Sgt. David Smith, HM2 Xin Qi and LCPL Jeremy Kane. And while I never met any of these men, they have shaped my life profoundly. I often ask myself the simple question: Would your life make them proud? I hope my choices, behaviors, and actions always do. And if/when my answer is no, then I know I'm off course. That wakes you up to change, real quick.

So Kristen and I were not close. I knew her face, we had maybe chatted a few times, and now this devastating event. This was heavy for me to handle so I CAN NOT even imagine the enormity of losing David had on his loved ones.

I can tell you this: my husband likes most people. He is friendly and kind and easy to be around (one of the most amazing qualities I love about him). But my Jeff does NOT give compliments or speak on someone's morale fibers unless the person is truly deserving. He doesn't often say much about other people. Maybe a quick, "he's nice". But nothing substantial. So when Jeff spoke of David in such HIGH regards, I know, without knowing David myself, that he was a special person of honor, integrity, charisma and high character.

And after Facebook stalking all of Kristen's old pictures, I can feel why. David's spirit brought so much fun to this world:

I never met him, but I wish I did. If he is even half as special as Kristen, her mom (and my friend), and these photos make him out to be, well he was a true gift.

Ok back to Kristen..... So, something felt beshert (Yiddish for a divine connection, something meant to happen, not a coincidence) about having reconnected with Kristen. And if you have ever been to a hair salon, you know it's a place to chat. So for the first time Kristen and I got to talk. And we SO did. This girl is magic. I had goosebumps the entire visit, just talking about who knows what. Kristen and I have so much in common. Her excitement and passion for life, even after truly dark times, makes her an even more powerful energy to be around. Her love for humanity feels reminiscent of my grandparents who instilled in me to love, even after they were tortured and abused in concentration camps during the Holocaust. How does anyone suffer so deeply, and yet come back with love, humor, and empathy for this world? Those people are magnetic to be around. Kristen is this energy. Her compassion even for those families who ultimately killed themselves as the suicide bombers just to reek habit on the troops trying to help the Afghan community is unfathomable. She can see how the people responsible for the bombing would do so when faced with the threat of their own families being murdered. What heaviness to carry. Kristen's grace must come from somewhere deep. And no doubt David had this too. Whether this was nature or nurture, this gift feels beautifully rare and special to be around.

But Kristen's grace and beauty aren't just for humanity. She takes her passion, love for life, and goes ALL IN.... on everything. She is a constant soul wanting to grow and learn. And that makes her an unstoppable force: in life.... but in hair too!

Kristen LOVES what she does. You can feel it, hear in, sense it when she talks about hair. And she lovessss to learn. It's not uncommon for her to ask fellow coworkers for their opinions while working too. I dig that! The girl has been in the industry for 15+ years and isn't afraid her ego can't handle ideas and suggestions from other gifted stylists. Quite the contrary. She is continuously putting herself in areas outside the salon that allow her skills to grow. She is often on a movie shoot, theater productions, and video games, working alongside celebrities like Nicole Kidman and Natalie Portman. Learn from the best. Put yourself in uncomfortable positions to get there. All things Kristen seems to do, just because. How damn cool is she? And if I can brag on her a little more, the girl also volunteers to do all the hair for her daughter's middle school play. I'm obsessed with being around her. She lights me up and inspires me to dream and act BIG too. She's the only gal I'll see for hair these days.... and the only person I could even fathom cutting Reece's hair too-

I can not say enough to convince you to go see her immediately! So just click the damn button and make an appointment.

Book Kristen Here

She has done my hair for so many incredible events: Jeff's award ceremony, filming for professional vlogs, family photo shoots, any birthday celebration.... and normal cuts. If my hair was not in a bun, you know who did it. So go see this girl. And be ready to be inspired. She can't help it.... it just oozes out. It must be DNA because one of her daughter's was the creative genius behind my newest ice cream flavor: Takis & Oreo. And I shit you not, it's flippin DELICIOUS.

So thank you Kristen! For your friendship, fun, great conversations and just overall creating a desire to embrace this one beautiful life we get. Oh gosh... and for helping me not look like a total mess when it comes to hair.

Because legit, here's actually my current hair:

And when I get my hair done.... I look like this: