None of Your B's Wax

What a great title for a blog post. Perfectly fitting, for many reasons, for my next friend doing AMAZING things. Bianca. This girl. Equal parts boss babe and altruistic heart. She is pure and utter magic to me. Just thinking of Bianca and an overwhelming wave of joy washes over me. I love people. Genuinely. Everyone has their own uniqueness. And I have had the honor of meeting so many incredible people in my life. Some friends, some acquaintances, some strangers. Beyond grateful for all of them. But this girl has an extra special place in my heart. Mostly because I can, with strong conviction, tell you she changed my life.... my thinking, my being, my lens on how I view this incredible life I've been given. If there ever was an angel on earth looking out for me, this girl is it.

But before I go on a tangent of why she is one of my soul sisters (and we look alike so people often ask) and how she's feeding her entrepreneurial spirit, let me give you the back story on how she helped me. Because to know this story will explain with clarity why Bianca and her business are worth your time and money.

During a past season, somewhat recently, I was feeling stuck. Not just stuck but resentful and helpless about a situation. I had a lot of blame and anger towards who and what were keeping me stuck. I had tried nearly everything to "fix" the issue. I have always considered myself creative and kind and a good energy to be around, but I was powerless to force others to budge even with those great qualities. So while on a walk together, Bi looked at me and flat out said: it's you. Well obviously she just didn't have enough information to realize it was SO not me. The situation was out of MY control. And I had been trying to remedy the mess others were making. So let me tell her MORE about the down right rude and unacceptable things that others were doing. Noppppppppppeeee. She stuck to her guns. It. Was. Me.

Now, Bianca and I had been friends, at this point, for over 10 years. We had met in DC at a local bar... probably in 2005-2006. We've had many fun nights together. But here we are, on a walk, just her and I, and she is NOT budging on me being totally and completely responsible. And look, I know I wasn't being my best self in this situation, but it is only because of the chaos created by others and I was just trying to manage it. How does she NOT see it? But the more I talked the calmer and more certain she became. I have always trusted and respected Bianca but I was becoming more and more uncomfortable. So I finally stopped talking. She had my curiosity peaked. Why was it me? What she gave me next was the changing moment of my life.

Stop trying to paddle up stream. One of the many concepts Abraham Hicks teaches, and what Bianca was helping me understand.

This image is visceral for me. I'm in a kayak, on the most intense rapids, trying to get further up the river. But I'm literally making no progress. Like trying to out run a treadmill set on the highest setting. Or run up an escalator that's cranked up to full speed. I'm one fit gal, but not even with adrenaline or coffee can I out muscle the rapids. That's the damn point Bianca was guiding me to realize. Stop trying to get upstream. What the heck do you think is up there? Nada. Nothing that feels like jamming a square peg into a round hole EVER brings us real joy. She is NOT wrong. So why am I doing it now? Every part of the problem I was experiencing was because I was FIGHTING so hard to paddle up stream. I had a vision of what I thought the solution should be and I was dead set to make it work.

Let go. The stream will take you where you are meant to be.

This was Bianca's solution for me. Ummmm.... no thanks? Don't we create our own destiny? I need to take action. I was in for not paddling up stream but this didn't make sense yet. I need to create my life, not be a passenger to allow someone else to control it. Somehow I assumed the stream taking me meant other people had control. And that most certainly is not it.

But there it was. The underlying real issue: Lack of control. It makes everyone cringe, or at least made me cringe. I feel like we are often taught you can do or say or have anything. And while that is true, the Universe, G-d, Source, whatever you believe guides us, will lead you on your path and signal when you're on & off course. Those on course feelings are the BEST. Elation, fun, excitement, ease, fulfillment, openness, abundance, perfect-timing, joy, love. And those off course feelings are the ones we hate most: anger, fear, jealousy, frustration, anxiety, lack, selfishness, chaos. And that was EXACTLY where I was. Off course and wallowing... and being a victim. And it was MY undoing that brought me there. I participated in this exchange and most certainly fueled its fire. Now I was sharing in the same energy of the situation "doing wrong onto me". So I was just as culpable as the others I felt were the issue. But what to do? Don't I need action to make things happen for myself?

The long story was no. I need flow. Not 'flow' as ambivalence or lack of care about what happens. Quiet honesty, the opposite. "Flow", or "being in the zone", feeling a high from being at the right place at the right time, elation, that's where you can find your true self. From that space, actions are easy. Being in "flow" is where the magic lies. Athletes and musicians talk about this space often. It's where they seem unstoppable. Get there and people will think you're on fire! It's getting an idea that feels SO DAMN EXCITING and you cant wait to take action. So you do.

That's where I needed to do. But I needed to figure out how to stop the snowball of negative energy that was FLYING down the crazy mountain I was on, at full speed.

Of course Bianca had guidance. A lot of it. We walked and talked for hours. I could most certainly write a book with the lessons and concepts she led me to know. But in the interest of time, let me tell you the best ones I got that day.

What is like is draw onto itself. AKA like thoughts bring more like thoughts & like actions bring more like actions. So no wonder I was in that big mess, I was thrusting that snowball of negativity down the hill and making it bigger and bigger with every step. What we all want is that snowball to be a positive one. Collecting more positive debris on its way down the hill, getting bigger and bigger, while going faster and faster.

You are not the voice in your head. If we were, why would be need a voice to tell us about it? That inner voice we have constantly chattering is just offering ideas... and giving you insight to where your snowball is going. Don't like how they feel? They probably aren't the idea best suited for you.

Gratitude is the key. We can see the world more clearly through gratitude. Gratitude brings happiness. Not the other way around. Ok fine happiness will bring more gratitude but gratitude is easy to find. Finding happiness when you're really down can be quite hard. Don't like where something or someone is going? Find your gratitude and take action from that mindset.

And while all these concepts feel very basic, in practice they can look and feel super challenging. And since life is already challenging, might as well take this approach!

What a gift Bianca gave me that day. It wasn't an immediate switch and life was instantly better and that situation resolved perfectly. Nope, nope, nope. But it was the planted seed, that over time, and care to foster that mindset, ultimately gave me that know how to take my life in a better direction.

So meet my dearest friend Bianca. And now let's talk about her business.

None of Your B's Wax

Natural skin care products, sourced and made with the best ingredients. I mean, look at her skin. Flawless. Is she 40? 20? Who knows. I just want to look and feel like her. And now that I'm armed with more internal mindset part, I am on the journey with Bianca to get the exterior there too! My everyday items of hers are her rice shampoo bars and rose toner. The rice shampoo bars are my jam. It smells amazing, gets my hair looking fresh, SO easy to travel with, natural, and perfect for someone like me who only washes their hair once a week (which is a good thing apparently... but definitely not my reason... that is pure laziness). As for my skin care routine, well that is even more shameful. Before Bianca I never did a damn thing to my face. And in full honesty, I never even washed it with soap. So thank goodness for a friend in the industry who gets me taking steps to looking and feeling fresh long term. But it's baby steps with me. I currently do something for my face kind of regularly (so vague, right? Maybe 4-6 times a week). That's BIG for me. Go Me! So next up would be to add more products. I know I should. It feels so good to just use the rose toner. Oh gosh, am I going to be a 15 step face care person? I hope not.

Crazy enough, up until this last week, I have never asked Bianca WHY. Why does she do what she does? And why a skin care company? Why does it light her up? I love this blog post got me to ask. I feel I know her more deeply because of it.

So why natural skincare? The company makes her tick for sure. And while the company was born from a need to help her ex-Sister-in-Law who could not use chemically derived skin care products, due to her stage 4 cancer diagnosis, the continued growth of the company came from her ability to create products that work. Every single item she sells has come from a personal need and an endless curiosity to make something better than what she can buy at the store. It must run through her blood because her sister is an amazing esthetician too. Check her out too: https://www.guidancetoglow.com/blogs/about-us/about-us

Service onto others has always given Bianca a high. Aren't the BEST people always serving others? Yup. She 100000% thrives on helping others with something she has made.... with her own two hands. While the word "homemade" comes to mind, I feel it brings along a novice or cheap feeling. And she is FAR from either of those descriptors. Bianca's products scream luxury and high quality.

But that isn't her why either. B and I chatted for a while to get there. And here's what I think I heard her say:

Seeing others shine is passion to her soul. It is both selfless and selfish. And yes, the products bring her immense joy, but I believe it is the discovery of something intangible/incomprehensible and her bringing it to life for others to use/understand that is her deepest WHY.

Bianca so clearly understood the spiritual concepts I needed to hear, and she delivered them to me in a way I could receive them. Her why. And her skincare products are the exact same way too. Nothing working for her nephew's skin, she'll create it, test it time and time again until the solution is found. It is as if she is conduit to help others pay-it-forward. Help others solve a problem because when we are free to focus, we can share our own personal gifts with the world.

After our talk by the creek, I now had a mindset moving me in the right direction. The issue didn't consume so much of my time and energy. And, with that freedom, I had more to give of myself to others.

Is there a better gift to give? This is why she feels like pure and utter magic to me. The product she gave me was more of me to give.

So yes, that might feel cheesy and extreme, and maybe a little bit like an exaggeration. But I promise you it is not. Not even in reflection. So the least I can do is honor her here with my words. Not sure they will ever be enough, but I will forever attempt to give my gifts to this world, thanks to her.

So check her out! Follow her on social media. Reach out and say hi. Try her products. I promise any interaction with B will only make you feel more excited by life.

And I know I can speak for both of us when I say, we would feel the ultimate joy if everyone reading this blog was freed up, even just a little, to give the best part of themselves back to others.

Love you, B. Your beauty radiates in all directions. Eternally grateful for you.